Appearing from out of nowhere, Yeshua now stood in front of Thomas, the disciple who doubted.

Thomas had been exaggerating moments ago, stating that unless he could place his fingers into the nail holes in Yeshua’s wrists, he would by no means fall under the delusion that the Master has come back from the dead.

“Shalom aleichem [Peace be upon you],” said Yeshua. He spoke casually with a smile. I would have been smirking if it had been me, but the Master is probably above that sort of thing.

John’s account does not record that Thomas’ face became ghost white and then tomato red or that he gasped and sputtered or that he was full of regret in that instant, but I like to think all of the above happened.

Yeshua’s response, though, is hard for me to swallow: “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).

That’s me. I’m blessed. I haven’t seen, but I believe—or at least I try to believe. But it’s difficult. I’d rather be Peter, James, or John, walking with Yeshua, watching him perform miracle after miracle, bathing in his wisdom and insight.

When it comes down to it, I’d even rather be Thomas.

Unfortunately, none of us has had the opportunity the apostles had. We can’t walk with Yeshua through the villages of Galilee or worship together with him in the Temple. None of us has witnessed the risen Messiah in his glorified state. If we had, we undoubtedly wouldn’t struggle with doubt or fear—but we do.

At least I do.

Maybe you’re in the same boat. If so, you might find it helpful to think through the book of Esther. It’s one of only two books in the Bible that don’t mention God at all. It’s obvious, however, throughout the entire narrative that God is working behind the scenes to secure the survival of his people.