Teaching Team
Are You Really Listening?
On Sunday my wife Shannon and I headed out from Missouri to pay a visit to her hometown of Boalsburg, Pennsylvania. Her parents were selling the multi-bedroom house Shannon and her sisters grew up in, in an attempt to downsize a bit. We were coming to say good bye to the house and collect some of furniture and memories of the past.
On Monday, my Father in law invited me to come to a morning Bible study that he and five other men had been holding together for a number of years. Although I was the youngest one there by at least 25 years, it was great to be in the company of some wise elders and learn from their life experience.
As we slowly sipped our coffee, one gentleman began to speak about how God had been putting on his heart lately that we as followers of Messiah need to be listening to each other more. I perked up because recently I felt like HaShem had been dealing with me on the same issue. The gentleman was taking about times when someone begins talking or sharing with us, do we really give them our full attention or merely just nod our head in acknowledgement while thinking about a hundred other things? I for one am certainly often guilty of the later.
A while back I read an article that described the look of the Master and how when someone was talking to him that it was obvious from the Gospels that he was giving them his undivided attention and made them feel like they were the only ones who really mattered at that moment. How many times did Yeshua seek solitude only to be followed by the masses in search of his power? And yet each time he chose to focus on them and meet their needs rather than turn away.
On the ride out to Pennsylvania we listened to C S Lewis' book The Screwtape Letters on audio CD. As most of you know this book is a fictitious series of letters form a head demon (Screwtape) to his nephew (Wormwood). The letters are an attempt to help his nephew tempt and fully damn the human the nephew had been placed in charge of.
Throughout these letters, Screwtape attempts to give his nephew pointers on the most effective ways to tempt the human. One that stuck out to me was he told him to get the human to think that all 24 hours in the day belong to the human and that any interruption of that time is an infringement on the human's personal time. Therefore each time a person must deal with an interruption in his day such as an unexpected visitor or phone call he becomes annoyed and disinterested. Instead we should all realize that our time is not our own but rather belongs to our Creator.
I wonder how many times I have become annoyed by an unplanned interruption and I wonder how many more times have I unexpected interrupted someone else yet they showed me the love of Messiah.
Although the seven of us talked about numerous topics that morning, I left this men's bible study with a new challenge of discipleship. I want to make a renewed commitment to "really" listen.
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Visitor Feedback:
"our time is not our own, but is our Creators"..how often that is forgotten, I know I do..I'm sitting here at work now, its mid afternoon after a busy morning and I know already that I have "not listened fully" when someone was talking to me, and that I felt certain interuptions were wasting my time...how selfish and un-Messiah like......
thank you for this post brother...be blessed in your new conviction and dedication to growth in that area of your disciplehood (is that a word :) ....
shalom brother. Take Care.
D.A. Fluker Jr. | July 30, 2008 12:04 PM
Thanks for the encouragement and challenge to do the same. I can't say how many times the kids have said, "Dad are you listening?" If we expect the Father to listen to our voice, we should certainly practice listening intently to those around us.
Matt H. | July 30, 2008 10:31 PM
This is a great post and very timely. In our culture there are so many voices that are vying for our attention. Being intentional about our stewardship of God's resource of time is a great reminder.
The interuptions thing really spoke to me. Like many others I have alot of work to do to see God's plan in those little interuptions of the day.
Thank you for the reminder.
Bill Beyer | July 31, 2008 8:45 AM
Toby,
Okay, I'm convicted. Your article pierced me to the core. So often during the day my kids will come to me with some need or desire (nothing life or death) but in my frustration I either tell them to wait or give them my attention while my mind is going over something else. I fear I have neglected the more important things for less important selfish reasons.
I’ll be more aware now. Thanks for sharing.
Shalom,
Robert
Robert Smith | July 31, 2008 6:56 PM
Toby,
Thanks for the much-needed reminder. I can remember growing up standing in the kitchen trying to talk with my mother who never paid any attention to what was on my mind. She would just keep her back to me and continue wiping off the counter or stirring a pot on the stove. I made up my mind that if my kids did this to me, I would take them by the hand and go into the living room, sit on the couch, and give them my undivided attention. It's easy to slip into bad habits, especially when you're busy, but the short time we have with our kids is timeless. Of course, this goes for others in our lives too. We really should pay attention!
Jeri Murray
Jeri Murray | August 1, 2008 5:11 PM
Guilty as charged.
What seems to really add to this problem is that most of my relationships are "virtual." It's hard for me to only half-pay attention when someone is sitting right here. But the reality is that, most of the time, my interactions are while I'm talking on the phone...while I'm also cooking, tidying up, paying bills, or anything else I can.
I pray that this conviction comes to mind next time I do this!
Hope | August 3, 2008 2:54 PM