Wow! What an encouraging blog. We've been languishing at home with an average of about 4 people joining us for shabbat chavurah, and no children to encourage our 11-year-old daughter. I've been praying for HaShem to expand our chavurah, but perhaps I only need to ask Him to bring more believers into our lives. Sounds like life could be pretty rich...

[HOPE: It's just like God, isn't it, to use our trials to bless others? :) Blessings to you, Anne!]

Oh, that is a question I have too! Where does protection end and too sheltered begin? My dd is just over a year, with one side of the family believers, but no Torah observant blood relatives. God has given us a wonderful spiritual family, for that I praise Him. Anyway, I look forward to the wise advice from those who have some experience in this! Thank you for asking it.

[HOPE: Many blessings to you and your family, Janessa, on this narrow road!]

Hope,

Thanks for sharing the encouragement. Our family is in a similar situation -- a 12 and 14-year old with no one at all to fellowship with. There are no other children in our small fellowship and no other like-minded children in the neighborhood. I cry out to the Lord consistently for this situation. Either bring people to us, or give my husband a vision to move (preferably to Hudson!!!). I feel like this is a very critical point in my children's lives, to have like-minded friends. I'm very happy that your prayers are being answered. I do know that God is working this out in His own way, and His ways are higher than mine. So, I continue to trust and pray.

Jeri Murray

[HOPE: Hi, Jeri. Thanks for sharing your story with us; I pray that you and your children find community, too!]

This topic came up for our Torah Club last night, and, once again, the perfect solution eluded us.

Bloom where you're planted or pull up stakes?

The uncertainty seems to usually surround a change in employment, congregation, community, personal relationships, etc. How can I discern with certainty what The LORD would have me do? Do I risk taking things into my own hands, when I really should have had patience and waited on HaShem?

Active vs. Patient Faithfulness...

Biblically, of course, both scenarios are repeatedly lived out in brilliant successes and, unfortunately, miserable catastrophes. Just like the patriarchs and matriarchs, we are real people living in a real world living real lives and faced with real dilemmas over and over and over again.

Great.

If you're like me..."inertia," metaphorically speaking, has a huge influence on what I choose consistently and/or habitually. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest and those in motion stay in motion. I'm talking about character here more than physics.

Yet, in lieu of a booming bat kohl (the perfect solution), persistent prayer and cultivating an attitude of love seems to be the better way to go.

Blessings, Hope, to you and your Daniel.

Shalom.

Crispin
South Dakota

[HOPE: Cripsin--thanks for reminding me what's really important!]

Hi Hope,
As Chicagoans ourselves, (the suburban type) Donalee and I had been praying a similar prayer for a few years before God gave us the green light to exit the windy city. Like you, having only one son, we experienced all those dilemmas you mention. After we left, to our dismay, things actually got worse for a time. But since then, God has answered those prayers and literally taken us around the world, simultaneously providing a continuous string of new and rich relationships in many ports. Through those relationships God has miraculously strengthened our family like I could never have predicted. Keep praying-- I'm convinced God will bring them to you, or take you to them. It might not be what you exactly had in mind, but thankfully God knows what's best for us. (And so does your neighbor-- get a hat.)

[HOPE: Thanks, David. That God may answer our prayers...but not like He did for you! :) ]

To Jeri:

Hudson?! Why would you move here? ;-)

Even here in Hudson we must reach out to others and find balance. The congregation I attend participates in a wider Christian outreach meal (providing certified kosher meat on the nights when it's our turn to cook the meal -- and probably skipping participation in the Christmas Ham Dinner altogether), and our children have no next door neighbors (or public school classmates) who are Messianic. Often we see others from the community only on our gloriously delightful all-day sabbaths. During the week we usually must find our own place, but in time as the residential Torah Christian/Messianic Jewish community here grows perhaps it will feel like we are a magnificent garden of flowers blooming together.

Hope: Move or bloom where you are planted... a dilemma, but one I'm sure God will answer for you in time. I don't have any tips for public consumption, but I do agree that balance is key.

Shalom,
Tami

[HOPE: Thanks for the encouragement!]

Shalom Hope,

I'm all for blooming where you are planted, but occasionally God does uproot and replant, as it is written, "You removed a vine from Egypt; You drove out the nations and planted it" (Psalm 80:8).

To me, the meaning of this verse from Psalm 80:8 is very clear. It means you should relocate to the Beth Immanuel (bethimmanuel.org) community of Hudson, WI.

Peace,
dtl

[HOPE: Ha! Ha! From your lips to God's ears!]

I am the mom of 5 children, ages 6 months-13 years. The issue of sheltering is one that we have struggled with many times over the years. Personally I am in favor of more sheltering v. less sheltering. We homeschool our children and are very careful about the situations that they are in. Children pick up whatever is around them-be that good or bad. We need to make sure that the good outweighs the bad.

Another thing that I have found is that each child is different, as is each age. Because of this I think it is important to pray about each situation or opportunity. Sometimes it isn't black and white what children need to be sheltered from.

We also have struggled with the relocating issue. New job, new state? It is tough to see the answer sometimes, so we continue to pray. We are without other believers and pray that the future holds something different. But if the believers all move together how will we help others find the truth?
I pray that you find His plan for your lives.

Melissa Parsons
[HOPE: Thanks for the insights, Melissa. I was hoping for some easy answers, but they clearly aren't out there. That said, I'm beginning to at least be encouraged that my struggles aren't so unusual; that alone is comforting.]

Alas, the believers we have encountered for the most part were a worse example for my boys than the unbelievers. To be honest, I haven't prayed for fellowship for a long time because of all the in-fighting I've witnessed. Two things I have learned, though, is not to get caught up in the "I'm right, you're wrong" arguments, and to stay clear of groups that are "one trick ponies" and base their existence on one particular doctrine.

I feel I am very much in a holding pattern right now. No one to fellowship with in Warren, and definitely not a good candidate to start a group. I sometimes wonder if a bunch of us are being held in reserve for something and have intentionally been left scattered and unknown for now. In the meantime, my husband, our younger son, and I just keep going, keeping the Sabbath and holy days together.

MJ

[HOPE: Amen, MJ...my heart goes out to you and your family.]

Thanks for this post Hope, it seems that globally we share a common dilemma. I live Christchurch, New Zealand's 3rd largest city and have been doing Torah Club study for around 6 years. We came to a knowledge of Torah and the Hebrew roots of our faith through a rough time which resulted in us leaving the church that we had been at for 20+ years and both came to salvation in. We now attend church purely for our children's benefit as they go to a Christian school and most of their friends are there. Torah Club is really where we are planted, and as we don't have any Messianic fellowships in this part of the country, we occasionally toy with the idea of forming our own, (unfortunately there have been several cultish communities come and go; this has made people very wary of anything resembling legalism).
Still, I have been greatly encouraged by meeting people at an ICEJ meeting on Hebrew Roots teaching who said that they had been studying Torah by themselves or in small rural groups - and that they thought that they were the only ones around! God is surely doing far more behind the scenes and certainly answering our prayers a lot more than we realize! Praise be to HIM!
I'm convinced that this scenario is happening worldwide, and we should be greatly encouraged (although I do despair sometimes that we aren't a formal Torah community etc. - I am an idealist after all!)
Thank you again for this site, it is a real blessing to hear the heartbeat of Hashems' people and know that we are a part of the family where-ever we are. The LORD has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes!
Shalom,
Rebecca Marchand

[HOPE: Shalom, Rebecca! Thanks for sharing your story; it's amazing how similar we all are...even though we're scattered all over the world!]

Hi Tami,

You asked why I would want to move to Hudson? I was there at Beth Immanuel for the Shavuot Conference. What a wonderful congregation! The graciousness and love that was extended to my family was incredible. Plus, Beth Immanuel is so blessed to have Daniel Lancaster as a teacher. I enjoyed his teaching so much on the Israel tour, and I would love to be part of a fellowship that provides such opportunities. My 12-year-old daughter cried all the way home to Ohio, not wanting to leave her friends she met in Hudson. I realize some were not from Hudson, but some were.

So, we wait and pray ...

Jeri

P.S. to Daniel, -- Yes and Amen to Psalm 80:8!!!

Hello, brothers and sisters and especially Crispin!

I'm in South Dakota, too, having relocated from Minneapolis. While I have no children at home, I do have a brand new granddaughter and wonder how she will fare. "All" I have is prayer, and she is lifted up daily. Her mommy is still firmly anchored in the flesh and discussion of spiritual matters only serves to throw up a wall. She is also lifted up daily.

For myself, I long for a Messianic congregation or a Torah study group. It feels as though I've been put in a desert, so how do I bloom? Perhaps it's time to add a "blooming request" to my prayers?

Thanks, Hope, for your encouragement. Shalom!!

Naahma
Rapid City, SD

[HOPE: Thanks, Naahma, for the reminder about prayer and its importance for all of us in these situations! Blessings to you, your daughter and grandaughter!]

It is so wonderful that God opened your eyes to all the believers around you, Hope. My sister (an unbeliever) recently got me a book called "Bloom Where You're Planted." I was so excited that she thought of me and bought me a Christian book. I plan to read it and share what I learn with her. I also read an article recently that talked about the verse where it says God will bless His people in the country AND the city. Some people think that if they get away from civilization, their problems will go away. God will bless you where ever He puts you. My family (especially my dad) has struggled with not having a messianic congregation near us. At first, we resisted going to a small Sabbath-keeping church in our area, but God has blessed us through that church and has used us to bless them! No one is perfect (you didn't always know all about Torah), so please don't judge. That's why we have Torah Club to study the rest of the day! One of the hardest lessons to learn is to be content where God plants you. Be thankful for the fellowship He gives you. Sorry I don't have exactly where to find that verse...I'm at school and I don't have my bible with me. I hope Yahweh comforts all of your hearts. If He tells you to move to Hudson, all the better!
Also, remember to print the Torah Kids/Teens for your older children (I do then younger one, too, because it is fun! Everyone wants to be a detective!). If you let your children use the internet, collect the e-mails from the other kids they meet at conferences or gatherings...or addresses. That way they can keep in touch. [And practice spelling ;) ] I am forever grateful to a young woman who gathered e-mail addresses from the teens at the last MIA conference and distributed them to everyone. I have been blessed out of my socks from people who I never even met at the conference. Plus we form prayer chains for everyone's prayer requests.
Shalom,
Alicia
Roanoke, Virginia

[HOPE: Wow, Alicia! Thanks for the sage advice!]

Shalom fellow believers in Messiah!!

Indeed this does seem to be a universal problem.

I live in Cape Town, South Africa. I attend a tiny Torah observant congregation not far from our house. I am saved and both of my children (a boy of 12 and girl of 15) love and serve the Lord, but my husband is a tradional Jew. (We eagerly anticipate his salvation!)

Here's the thing - the Lord is more than faithful!! To my knowledge none of our neighbours is Torah-observant or even saved, and our contact with saved, like-minded people is limited BUT the Lord has kept my children's feet on the straight and narrow, and they have not strayed. I firmly believe that if we put Him first in all we do - He will honour us, and give us the desires of our heart!

Blessings to you all!

K O

[HOPE: Thanks for more encouraging words!]

Hello Hope,

You said you were a new Mom, sounds like it hasn't been long since your first addition--Mazel Tov!

I am the mother of four young children ages 1-6 years old. Our family, as well as others in our small Messianic fellowship, feel the same way. For now, it seems HaShem's answer is to stay put. "Bloom where you're planted" should always be our motto no matter where we are. HaShem knows the desires of your heart and as you seek Him and His Kingdom all these things will be revealed in His time.

I wanted to say I appreciated the comment made by Melissa Parsons. As with most of life there's always a balance we try to find. In the case of sheltering I heard this analogy a long time ago and it has stuck with me. . .

Our children are like little seeds. If we want each seed to count and become a healthy plant, then the best way to ensure that is to sprout them and grow them in a controlled and protected environment like a greenhouse. We carefully plant them, nurture them and keep them in the greenhouse until they are ready to be transplanted. They must be ready to withstand the outer elements before doing so, because the results will not only be less than desirable, but possibly fatal for the young plant. Then all our hard work in cultivating the seedling will have been wasted. But if the young plant is ready then it will thrive on its own and we can take a lesser role in its care and get to stand back and watch it flourish and bring forth fruit on its own!

I know that describes the big picture in raising our children, but it also helps when we're trying to make the smaller decisions like should our child be allowed to watch this movie or play with so-n-so. We should ask ourselves, "Is 'Johnnie' ready for this?" It's always good to stop and ask for wisdom and insight into each situation with each particular child.

Shalom Uvracha,
sabrina
[HOPE: Wow, thanks, Sabrina. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom. Images like yours (the seedlings) are exactly what I'm looking for and what will help me with big and little decisions daily. BTW, how did you get time to write? :)]

Hi All,

Just want to add to this global situation! I live on the south coast of England and have no fellowship at all. I've only been Torah-observant since January and have no believing friends or family, not even my husband. My 14 year old daughter thinks I'm weird! I tell her, that's fine by me! My only contact with other believers is through the internet, and I pray often about meeting others. I do get the feeling that YHVH is teaching me patience though! I do get a bit desperate on Sabbaths but have to keep remembering that 'all things work out for the good of those who obey the Father and are called according to His purpose' (done from memory so probably not quite a correct quote).
Nice to 'meet' others in the same situation though!
Lindsey

[HOPE: Thanks for checking in, Lindsey. It seems like with every comment of people in similar situations, it gets a little less lonely, doesn't it?]

Its encouraging to me to read all the posts-- none of us are alone in our feelings of loneliness! I live in a tiny community in southern Saskatchewan, Canada. I am a mother of four, with only a thirteen-year old son left at home. Of our grown children, only our daughter and her husband, who live a province away, are Torah observant. My husband does not yet view Torah the way I do. My siblings believe I am in gross error and putting myself under the law.

As has been expressed by others, I believe the Lord has been drawing a great many of His children, all around the world, to Torah observance. I also believe that many of us, however, are keeping our new understandings somewhat under wraps, being unsure of how to communicate them to our Christian friends and pastors without being causing walls to go up immediately. (For example, I discovered just two days ago that a friend of mine, a Christian leader, in a city 100km away has been shown the Torah way by the Holy Spirit but has not publicly spoken about it yet.)

I like your idea, Alicia, of encouraging our children to connect with their peers in other Torah-observant families. In our small community, there are no Christian children, let alone Torah-observant ones, for him to spend time with. For those of us not yet privileged to have attended meetings in Hudson, are there other ways we can help our children and teens to connect?

Rebecca, it is good to know we will not be the only ones of this faith when we visit New Zealand next month! We will be in and around Queenstown, primarily. Can you by any chance tell us where we might find kosher food around there? The travel agency has been most unhelpful.

Shalom,
Wanda