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“Yes Sir!”
By Boaz Michael | Comments (3) | Posted on June 20, 2007
Our culture shapes us. I am now in Missouri establishing a home for my family and helping with the transition of the FFOZ offices before the next leg of the Shalom Tour begins this winter. I am learning quickly that in some areas we need to adjust quickly in order to fit in and not be offensive. Here, it is proper to use the term, “Sir.”
My first real encounter with this came the other day when my son Noah replied to me with a casual, “yeah.” Now for those of you who don't know Noah, he is not a disrespectful son. He is a happy-go-lucky, funny, content, and sweet little boy. But in this culture, that type of response can be construed as disrespectful. That would not be good for our family’s testimony.
Within our home being disrespectful is unacceptable; so I quickly realized that something had to change now that we’ve landed in Missouri. Realizing it would be impossible and arrogantly presumptuous to expect the culture around us to change—it was apparent that it would be incumbent that we change.
I quickly called all of my kids together and told them about this southern cultural norm and asked them to begin to refer, respond and use the term “sir” in addressing myself and other adults. I shared with them that this is a matter of respectful behavior within this new culture and that we must be prepared to change and adjust to this custom.
Carrying this over to Torah culture, we must also relate in a similar matter. In most cases it is impossible and arrogantly presumptuous to expect this Torah culture to change—in most cases (not all) it is incumbent upon us to change.
It is funny to think that once my children develop the pattern and habit of calling me or responding to me with “sir,” that I will have to tell them to be mindful of this in other cultures and contexts. When we travel to cities, to the west, or up north the terms “sir” carries a weighty, oppressive, or authoritative feel. In some instances this response could be construed as if I am a dictator or an overly-controlling father. That would not be good for our family’s testimony either.
Carrying this over to the reality that we are still connected to and a part of the greater body of Messiah reminds us that we must always be aware of our surroundings and be sensitive to those that are watching and observing.
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Visitor Comments
Welcome to the South, y'all! As a southerner living in the very casual pacific northwest, all I can say is that you've stumbled on a very important piece of southern culture. While I still say "Sir" and "Ma'am" habitually, I have not raised my kids to say it, because it is not part of the culture here. It drives my Mom crazy when she visits.
It's an interesting observation, also, on "culture norms" vs "Biblical norms" and recognizing the difference between the two, and when it makes sense to modify behavior based on locale and when not to.
Y'all relax now, have some sweet tea, and work on your drawl! Yes, sir!
Shalom!
Posted by: Pati in WA | June 21, 2007 11:15 PM
Hello Mr. Boaz
I hope all is well with your household and your move. We live in the south as well, Georgia to be exact. We have 11 children and exptecting our 12th. I would like to express that saying "Sir" even in GA. holds the same amount of respectful etiquette as it does further North in Missouri. It also carries the same disgust from those who do not wish to admit that they are older than the children in their lives and therefore they tell our children not to call them that because it makes them feel "Old". Unfortunately, they are old, at least to my children who have been trained to honor the grey headed...and the adults they meet (even if they are only 20 years old). We have always trained our children to be respectful even if those to whom they are paying respect to don't accept it. They must honor them, not because we say so, but they do so because He says so.
So, Kudos to you! May the fruit you see from this be a blessing to you, to your family, to all you come in contact with, and to our Savior.
M. Whitmire
Posted by: M. Whitmire | June 22, 2007 1:00 AM
Shalom, Ah, yes! When we lived in Asheville, NC we heard that much. One of my Mom's sisters lives in Mississippi and our contacts with her made that very clear, even though, she rather that you called her Ma'am!! It is very respectful. Something that seems to be lacking now a days. JB
Posted by: James Bauers | August 28, 2007 4:25 PM